Get Busy with Active Verbs

Part one of the series, Movement in Poetry

by Patty Zion

 

Verbs take our poetry places. Virtually every poet has read the advice:  Use active, not passive, verbs. 

Active verbs literally bring poetry into action, carrying the reader along on the current of movement.  When we use active verbs, things happen.   

Most verbs in the English language are active; we do not need to do anything to them to create the active voice.  In fact, only a few verbs are passive: am, is, are, was, were, be.  The problem often occurs when we add these passive verbs to an active verb, qualifying it and sapping its strength. 

For instance, we swam is an active phrase.  But we were swimming suddenly becomes passive.  He will attend is active; he will be attending is passive.  The active voice often sneaks into our poetry, just as it hangs around in our conversation.  When we speak in the passive voice, it feels and sounds natural, but when we use it in a poem, it steals the power from our writing. 

Consider this snippet from a typical conversation: 

We were standing in the parking garage and a man was watching us.  We were frightened.  He was scary looking. 

But in a poem, the same weak words would lack authority.  A poet should say it with more vigor, maybe like this: 

We stood in the parking garage; a man looked at us. 

His looks aroused our fear. 

A few phrases, commonly used in speech, are even more insipid thieves of our poetic power.  The words used to often appear in memoirs and stories told in poetic form:   

We used to ride our bikes on the highway. 

We used to enjoy our family gatherings.

We used to call him "Slim."

Notice the step up when we reword these sentences:

We rode our bikes on the highway.

We enjoyed family gatherings.

We called him "Slim."

In a similar way, the word would offers little enhancement to any verb phrase:

We would walk to the swimming hole every summer day.

We would always go shopping at the corner grocery.

We would never think of talking back to Dad. 

Omitting the dead would, we have:

We walked to the swimming hole every summer day.

We shopped at the corner grocery.

We never thought of talking back to Dad. 

Exercise: 

The next time you carry on a conversation, remember some of the spoken sentences and write them down.  You will probably see an abundance of passive phrases.   

Now rewrite the conversation as a skilled poet would, using as many active phrases as possible.  When the passive voice seems the only natural way to say something, do not force it - a few passive verbs can add a conversational tone.  Concentrate on improving the voice in most of the lines.   

With this simple exercise, you will not only improve your ear for banishing the passive voice, you will also create a poem you might never have thought of.  Polish it with some concrete images and poetic devices. 

Just as our bodies are more healthy when we choose an active life, our poetry becomes healthier when we choose the active voice.  Get busy - get active.  Take your poems somewhere!  

Staff Editor Patty Zion welcomes your editing questions and comments.  You may reach her by e-mail at

dazzleu@alltel.net