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TJMF Publishing - Open Mike Cafe Editor's Desk Staff Editor Patty Zion |
crazy by wen
you look through me
I am not there
you have never seen crazy
you look at me
I am not there
you are better than crazy
you look to me
I am not there
you are intrigued by crazy
who is crazy now?
Crazy presents the viewpoint of someone who is considered mentally ill, and falls victim to the stares of those who consider themselves better or more "normal." In this poem, wen uses repetition and simplicity to deliver her convicting story.
Strengths:
This poem appears to break many of the rules of poetry, yet it succeeds because of its mighty voice. We instantly crawl inside the mind of the "crazy" person, and we never leave until the final question mark - notably the only bit of punctuation in the entire work. The poet speaks with emotion and principle.
Anaphora - repetition for dramatic effect - gives this work a good measure of glue. This sometimes overused poetic device fits perfectly into the speaker's frame of mind. After all, a crazy person might repeat herself, right? We cannot get the lines out of our minds, as we repeatedly hear that someone looks through, looks at, and looks to the narrator. The weight of each line is thereby increased.
Likewise, wen tells us three times: I am not there, I am not there, I am not there. We know exactly where the narrator and the poet stand on the issue of being boxed in with society's labels.
While correct punctuation usually enhances a poem, in this case it seems more fitting to omit it, as wen has done. The final question mark is the only punctuation in the entire piece. Therefore, wen achieves a semi-run-on sentence, giving us the feeling that the narrator has a lot to say and will keep going until it all comes out.
Suggested areas for improvement:
The title, crazy,essentially repeats what we hear in the poem itself, but misses an opportunity to add one more piece of information or opinion. While a one-word title feels appropriate, this particular word does not truly express what the poet wants to say. The narrator is probably not crazy, or at least not any more crazy than others who judge her. Possible alternate titles might include:
judgment
irrational
opinion
Another way to add texture and meaning to the title would be to place a question mark after it. This would foreshadow the question in the poem's final line; it would also give more dimension to the simple title.
Most powerful phrases:
you look through me
you look at me
you look to me
These three lines combine to ground the poem and produce a sort of video. We can see a person staring and yet not acknowledging the "crazy" narrator.
crazy explores our prejudices and judgments. The poet uses few words, accompanied by powerful voice and mood, to deliver a message and an emotion. Thank you, wen.
Patty Zion, Staff Editor