Prince of the Forest by Ken Nye 

Even in the hushed silence
of this road through thick woods
the bike's' rubber tires
are almost soundless.

Lost in thought,
I become aware of something up ahead
motionless in the middle of the road.

Getting a little closer, I  see,
standing stock still,
staring at me,
a magnificent male coyote.

Putting myself in his position,
I can imagine he's having trouble
coming up with an explanation for me,
this object silently moving toward him
without any apparent gait or lumber,
never varying the direction in which it moves
but inexorably coming closer.

When I get within fifty yards
I stop.
Both feet on the ground now,
straddling the bike,
I stand and stare at him,
just as he stands and
stares at me.

Then he spins and trots into the woods,
never looking back.

The majesty of this animal
was striking.
His lush multi-colored coat
fit him like a tailored robe.
And his demeanor spoke of
responsibilities and
decisions to be made.

I was but a trifle and easily dismissed.

----------

Prince of the Forest depicts a brief encounter with a coyote, taking a moment to imagine the animal's thought processes, and admiring his position in nature.

Strengths:

The poem has a clear beginning, middle, and end, with all three sections staying solidly on the subject. First, the poet sets the scene briefly but clearly, showing us the bicycle and the thick woods, and establishing the quiet zone we have entered.  Then, the narrator sights the coyote and examines his thoughts.  Last, the poet pointedly sums up the coyote's description and opinion of this human he has encountered.

We absorb a solid feeling that the poet values nature and seeks to become in tune with his environment.  This gives the poem a philosophical slant - a strong sense of escape from the mundane.

Suggested areas for improvement:
This poem takes a simple approach to its subject, and I think this tone would be even further enhanced by trimming some words.  This would add to the feeling of wonder and silence in the forest.  A few adjustments to the punctuation will also be needed to keep the usage in line.  Taking it line by line,

Even in the hushed silence
of this road through thick woods (comma)
the bike's' rubber tires
are almost soundless.

Lost in thought,
I become aware of something up ahead
motionless in the middle of the road.(comma here)

Getting a little closer, I  see,
standing stock still,
staring at me,(dash here instead of comma)
a magnificent male coyote.

Putting myself in his position,
I can imagine He's having trouble
coming up with an explanation for me,
this object silently moving toward him
without any no apparent gait or lumber,
never varying the direction in which it moves

no variation of direction,
but inexorably coming closer.

When I get within fifty yards

Fifty yards away,
I stop.
Both feet on the ground now,
straddling the bike,
I stand and stare at him,
just as he stands and
stares at me.

Then He spins and trots into the woods,
never looking back.

The majesty of this animal
was striking.
His lush multi-colored coat
fit him like a tailored robe.
And his demeanor spoke of

He has
responsibilities and
decisions to be made make.

I was am but a trifle, and easily dismissed.

By omitting the words indicating the narrator's thoughts and opinions, we place the power clearly in the coyote's control.  The intelligent reader (and we only have intelligent readers) understands this is what the narrator imagines the animal might be thinking. We can assume the reader will know these are merely the human's ideas.  We give credit to the reader for having the ability to comprehend what is not stated.

The physical description of the coyote would work earlier in the poem, but in its present place, it stalls the action toward the stunning end.

I have also placed the coyote in a more active role by stating he has decisions to make rather than to be made. 

There is also a change of tense in the poem, which I took the liberty of changing in my suggested edits.  The switch from present to past tense was a distraction, slightly confusing.  By keeping the entire poem in the present tense, we keep the reader inside the scene, experiencing it with the narrator, instead of being told about it later.

Most powerful phrases:

This road through thick woods.  Here is a short, clear image of the scene, using a light touch of alliteration in the th sounds. 

he spins and trots into the woods,
never looking back.  I appreciate the sense of movement in this phrasing, and the finality of the coyote never looking back.  We have no doubt what happened and what it looked like. 

I was but a trifle and easily dismissed.  Here, we have the major point of the poem, expressed succinctly.  The poet wisely refrains from going into a long explanation at the end.  The poem ends at precisely the point of understanding and revelation. 

King of the Forest brings the reader into a world of natural wonder, while escaping the trap of waxing poetic about the experience.  Ken Nye presents a straightforward, simple style, which does justice to the theme of this poem.  In my opinion, omitting a few words and perfecting the tense will take this poem up a few degrees, without sacrificing the innate voice of the poet.  Thank you, Ken. 

Patty Zion, Staff Editor

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